Planetary Humor

Q: Why did Galileo look at the telescope’s anus?

A: He wanted to look at Uranus, but then he got all confused, and well, then he looked at the telescope’s anus instead!

P.S. (He wished it didn’t fart but boy was he wrong!! The telescope farted right by his nose so he could smell it!! He was very flustered that day I tell you what! He did not like the stink of the fart either!!! ;) ;-))

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Knock Knock!

Who’s There??

Morgan Freeman!

Morgan Freeman who??!

Morgan Freeman, the black actor, you fucking moron!

Oh. Sorry.

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Venus: Since they did away with slavery on Earth, do you think that everything will be cool now?

Mars: Eh, I don’t know.

Morgan Freeman: You guys should really watch Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. I talk a lot on it and it’s pretty cool stuff about space and stuff. I also believe that Visa is an excellent company to provide banking services and stuff like that on Earth.

Pluto: Oh no! More again from you Morgan Freeman??!

Neptune: Pluto, that’s not very nice. Morgan Freeman has every right to say what is on his mind.

Uranus: That’s right.

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Earth: Did you here that Tupac was wearing a tutu?

Mars: Yeah, Biggie Smalls was rolling over in his fat grave about it!!!

Pluto: What a faggot!!

Earth: Pluto, you shouldn’t call people faggot. It’s just not very nice.

Mars: Yeah, that was not cool at all.

Pluto: I’m really sorry I said that. I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Earth: I’m sorry we can’t.

Mars: We really can’t.

(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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Earth: hey man, 420, have some of this!

[Earth passes Pluto a bong with some killer nugz packed up. One thing is though, the bong water is really stale and gross. It looks really dirty in the bong.]

Pluto: Oh thanks! I’m really glad we are friends!

[Pluto drinks all of the bong water in the bong and swallows it!!! Not only that, but Neptune has been using the bong as a dip spit cup for like two weeks!!!]

Earth: Ewwww!! God you are stupid!!

Pluto: I’m sorry I messed up. Can we look past this incident and continue to work on our friendship?

Earth: Ugh…. I guess.

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Mercury: Have u heard the new Funkytown Hardbodies cd?

Earth: No.

Mercury: My favorite song is “Blade Until You Fade To Ash.”

Earth: Does it look like I give a shit at all?

Mercury: Come to think of it, not really. :’-(

(2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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Mercury: Hey, the crater is over here, where the gaseous vents are.

Mars: Now what in the heck are you talking about??!

Mercury: Just lean in right here near these vents. Put your nose near these vents near these craters.

[Mercury farts, right in Mars' nose!!!]

Mars: EWWWW!!!

Mercury:

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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Mercury: Why does Jupiter have such a bad attitude?

Venus: I think he’s just a bad dude with a bad ‘tude!!

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Mars: Ewwww! Did you see Pluto’s mustache?

Mercury: No. He’s trying to grow a mustache?

Mars: Yeah, he looks like a white trash 13 year old kid.

Mercury: Heh, that’s nasty.

Venus: God, he’s such a tard.

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Mercury: Are you guys talking about tit curdles?

Pluto: No.

Mercury: Oh ok.

(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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