Q: What was eating Gilbert’s gape?
Uranus: A taco eating a pizza!
Q: What was eating Gilbert’s gape?
Uranus: A taco eating a pizza!
Uranus: Neptune, your freckles make you look like a freak!
Neptune:I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just the way I look.
Uranus: Heh, well they look like freakles to me! That’s right. You heard me. Freakles, you freakin freak!
[Neptune hangs his head in shame. A sense of shame pervades the solar system, except for Uranus who feels proud of his clever remark, but this pride gives way to shame for having shamed his friend. Everyone is ashamed.]
Jupiter: C’mon guys, let’s listen to this Korn cd titled Freak on a Leash together and enjoy these funky rock grooves together.
[Everyone complies but there is still a pretty weird vibe in the solar system. Uranus continues to hang his head in shame and avoids being in the Sun.]
Q: What was the name of the famous space telescope that NASA put in space that forgot to shave?
A: The STUBBLE telescope!!!
[Pluto is fumbling around with his new iPad. He's like rubbing it around his crotch and stuff like he doesn't know what he's doing.]
Earth: Hey Pluto, what exactly are you doing with that brand new iPad?
Pluto: I am trying to figure out how to put my new pad on.
Earth: Dude, first of all, that is not a maxi pad… It’s a fucking iPad!! Second of all, you don’t even have a pussy you fucking moron!! Fuck!!
Pluto: Oh… I got confused because iPad sounds sorta like maxi pad.
Earth: Right. [rolls eyes]
Q: Why did Galileo look at the telescope’s anus?
A: He wanted to look at Uranus, but then he got all confused, and well, then he looked at the telescope’s anus instead!
P.S. (He wished it didn’t fart but boy was he wrong!!
The telescope farted right by his nose so he could smell it!! He was very flustered that day I tell you what! He did not like the stink of the fart either!!!
;) ;-))
Knock Knock!
Who’s There??
Morgan Freeman!
Morgan Freeman who??!
Morgan Freeman, the black actor, you fucking moron!
Oh. Sorry.
Venus: Since they did away with slavery on Earth, do you think that everything will be cool now?
Mars: Eh, I don’t know.
Morgan Freeman: You guys should really watch Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. I talk a lot on it and it’s pretty cool stuff about space and stuff. I also believe that Visa is an excellent company to provide banking services and stuff like that on Earth.
Pluto: Oh no! More again from you Morgan Freeman??!
Neptune: Pluto, that’s not very nice. Morgan Freeman has every right to say what is on his mind.
Uranus: That’s right.
Earth: Did you here that Tupac was wearing a tutu?
Mars: Yeah, Biggie Smalls was rolling over in his fat grave about it!!!
Pluto: What a faggot!!
Earth: Pluto, you shouldn’t call people faggot. It’s just not very nice.
Mars: Yeah, that was not cool at all.
Pluto: I’m really sorry I said that. I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Earth: I’m sorry we can’t.
Mars: We really can’t.
Earth: hey man, 420, have some of this!
[Earth passes Pluto a bong with some killer nugz packed up. One thing is though, the bong water is really stale and gross. It looks really dirty in the bong.]
Pluto: Oh thanks! I’m really glad we are friends!
[Pluto drinks all of the bong water in the bong and swallows it!!! Not only that, but Neptune has been using the bong as a dip spit cup for like two weeks!!!]
Earth: Ewwww!! God you are stupid!!
Pluto: I’m sorry I messed up.
Can we look past this incident and continue to work on our friendship?
Earth: Ugh…. I guess.
Mercury: Have u heard the new Funkytown Hardbodies cd?
Earth: No.
Mercury: My favorite song is “Blade Until You Fade To Ash.”
Earth: Does it look like I give a shit at all?
Mercury: Come to think of it, not really. :’-(